Don't be an asshole!
by tinadoll
Summary: What if it was Jessica Jones encountered Frank Castle first? What if Matt met Jessica? What if they all fought each other? What if all Daredevil and Jessica Jones stories didn't take themselves so seriously? What if the Punisher wasn't hurt or in need of comfort? And What if Deadpool ruined everything?
1. Chapter 1

**Title:** "Don't be an asshole…"  
 **Author Name:** tinadoll  
 **Rating:** R(Cursing, Violence)  
 **Spoilers:** Jessica Jones: During Season 1 and Daredevil Season 2 . Before Episode 3  
 **Genre:** drama, ? Who knows

 **Main Character(s):** The Punisher (from Daredevil Season 2) and Jessica Jones  
 **Ship(s):** None  
 **Summary:** What if Jessica encountered Frank before Matt did?

 **Disclaimer:** This story is based on the beautiful Netflix Marvel Series'. Go watch them. They rock. Also, I do not own any of these characters and make no money off of this story. I also took some liberties with the timeline.

 **A Prologue?**

Frank Castle is kneeling in cover on a rooftop staring at the dark haired chick kicking ass on the street through the eyesight of his rifle. It was summer and he is sweating in his black cargo pants and black shirt. He feels the sweat beading down his back as he wipes his brow. He doesn't say anything but the perplexed look on his face says it all. These are his Dogs of Hell she is beating up.

So he kneels there, angry at the world, this chick was stepping into his territory. He put the gun down and started to dismantle it.

He is not getting involved in that shit show.

Who the hell is Kilgrave?

Jessica Jones runs into Frank Castle's handiwork three days later.

In her search for Kilgrave, she stumbles upon a warehouse full of thugs who are dead as door nails. There is blood everywhere.

"What the fu…." She says, disgusted, as she surveys the scene. This is clearly not Kilgraves handiwork because it is too violent. Too bloody for his taste. Also, they didn't look like they killed each other. These guys didn't kill each other thus it didn't fit his MO. She takes a moment to compose herself and she backtracks out the door before the cops arrived.

She didn't want to be blamed for this one.

Of course, she wasn't going to let it go either.

Frank sits in his apartment, feeds the dog some scraps, and cleans his gun. On the news, they are calling him the Punisher, which he didn't give two shits about.

They are also talking about a threat to the city called Kilgrave.

That isn't his deal either.

He changes it to the Home Shopping Channel.

They are talking about knives

He is semi interested.

Jessica also has the news on, but she isn't watching. She is hung-over, fully clothed and laying face down in her bed desperately trying to get rid of the headache.

But when NY1 starts to talk about the punisher and her ears perk up.

"Punishwaaaa," she said as she struggles to find the remote, thus breaking her night stand in the process.

She raised the volume, she needed to find this prick and fast.

Hells kitchen at night is a beast unto itself. There is a slight chill in the air and a small drizzle had turned the streets slick. The lights reflect on the raindrops like diamonds.

But there is beeping and cursing in typical New York fashion.

Frank stands there on the rooftop; eyes closed, and took it in.

He is damp, and every time he breathed, he could see his breath. He is standing up there because he had planned to snipe some lowlife out of existence. He closes his eyes, rubs his head and focused out the bad memories and instead focuses on the asshole across the street. He is so lost in thought that he doesn't hear the brick being picked up and thrown at him. The brick, hits him in the back.

He turns quickly and pointed his rifle at the figure in front of him.

It is the woman he had seen earlier: Jessica Jones.

"You," he hissed, contemplating if he should hit a woman.

"Why are you killing all those people," she asked calmly. He noticed she had another brick in her had.

He lowered his weapon.

"I'm doing what needs to be done, lady" he said. "Now why don't you get off this roof before it gets ugly,"

Jessica rolled her eyes "Don't' be an asshole," and she threw the brick, causing him to drop the rifle.

He really doesn't want to shoot her.

The rain picked up and it was pouring.

The tense scene is interrupted by another figure.

This figure wears black and white and red all over.

" _Have you guys seen Francis?"_

Writers Note: I wanted to write this as a serious conversation. I have no idea how Deadpool got in this fic. I am sorry.

Also, please review: I need to know if i should continue or rewrite :)


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 1: Red, white and asshole all over.

It's pouring down cats and dogs on Hell's Kitchen. It's the kind of rain that people stay indoors. The melodic yet fast paced thump thump thump on the pavement momentarily drowns out the excessive honking. Hell's kitchen does not appreciate the rain. And in that rain, Frank Castle and Jessica Jones are not happy people. They had been ready for a square off but this costumed asshole interrupted them.

They call him Deadpool.

"Let me repeat myself… real slow," he says seriously, "Have you seen Francis?

"No, I have not seen Francis," Frank says mockingly with venom in his voice because he is at the end of his patience. But so was Deadpool, because he launches at him. Francis aka Ajax was the one that turned Wade Wilson into the freak he is today.

Jessica takes a few moments because she doesn't know who to hit first- the crazy dude in black or the crazy dude in the red and white suit.

Jessica has seen some shit in her day, including a bunch of assholes dressed in tights destroying midtown. At least the guy with the red white and blue shield had a nice ass.

But tonight, in the rain, she just stands there watching the man in black get his ass handed to him.

"Ok ladies," she said going to break up the fight. Punisher now had the upper hand and was punching the other guy in the stomach.

Deadpool, however, is laughing about it. He, of course, has a few screws loose.

Both men stop as Jessica pushes both of them apart.

"Lemme at 'im" Castle exclaims through gritted teeth. He was in full berserker mode but Jessica is built tough. She throws him a good three feet back, much to his dismay.

Frank Castle, stood up, with bloodshot eyes, confused as all hell.

"Damn girl," Deadpool said but Jessica stops him from speaking further with one finger.

She wasn't haven't any of this nonsense anymore.

* * *

On the roof of the building across the way, Daredevil leans against the piller listening to what was going on. Knowing that Frank Castle was a loose cannon and that the volatile nature of Jessica Jones was weighing heavily on his mind. Should he get involved? Should he go get the cops? He decides on the latter course of action.

When he turns around to leave to notify the police; another figure emerges to the roof. If Matt Murdock wasn't so preoccupied with listening to the fight across the street, he may have heard the figure approach.

But Daredevil aka Matt Murdock is smarter than that because, through the rain he heard the heartbeat of the man who approached. He thanked God he heard him because he stopped a strike that would have surely knocked him out.

Through the endless rainfall Luke Cage stood towering over the Daredevil. "The Devil of Hells Kitchen" however, was smaller and faster than the other man.

Luke tries to land a couple of blows but Daredevil countered. Then Luke feigned a left punch and got Matt in the ribcage with a right hook.

Matt then did what was best for the situation; talk.

"So what was that for?" Daredevil said as he huffed and hugged his left side. He assumed he had a couple of broken ribs.

"Being an unnecessary douche bag," Luke said "There's some bullshit going on around here and you are going sit by and do nothing," Luke was worried about his friend Jessica, he didn't like the Punisher or even the idea of a vigilante like him. The guy in red and white is an enigma. But the Daredevil, he was ok and Luke hated doing this.

"Do nothing?" Daredevil shouted "I'm sure the guy with the gun collection and the chick that threw him a clear three feet have it under control. Besides, this isn't a matter for me, it's a matter for the cops."

Before Luke had a chance to respond, he was hit by a rock.

"More masked friends!" Deadpool said and he did a summersault off of the water tower. "This is my lucky day…"

* * *

As Daredevil and Luke Cage started fighting, Jessica Jones sprung into action. She ran down the fire escape to go help him, but Dead pool was quicker, using leaping from roof top to roof.

Frank however, stood there, in silence. He was deciding whether to pick off each one of these bozos with his sniper rifle.

His conscious knew better. The guy in red took down the Kingpin. The crazy girl was a private eye; never knowing to harm anyone except her drinking habit. The guy in the street clothes he didn't know- but the guy named Deadpool, he had a most impressive body count. But they were all bad guys, so in his head they didn't count.

Better leave them to their own devices. Still feeling sore from the throw, he took his gun and without a word, high tailed it out of there. He was more worried about catching the flu than he was about getting the final word.


End file.
